There were times when I see people contribute or donate to good causes, my mind will come to crossroads. I was sometime split into thinking whether those were really good deeds done out of their sincerity? Or were they doing them for some political, social or other economic reasons.
My thinking mind will go back years ago when I was working for a company that was involved in a charity drive to help the famine victims of North Korea. Things happened and they made a black dot in my ‘Chapter on Charity Drive’.
After listening to Master’s talk on this topic, 随喜功德, and also the earlier topics, I try to reset my thinking mind to its original state. I am now trying to appreciate people’s good deeds and if possible, emulate them. But before I am able to do that, I have to get rid of my old, rotten thinking mind. The old me used to see only ‘black dots on white backgrounds’. I used to not only see but also criticise the ‘black dots’. I have changed to at least know how to sing praises for people for the good works done.
I would also like to blame my professional training for my appetite for spotting of errors and mistakes by others. Sometimes, these errors or mistakes will easily upset me and adversely affect my mood. At times, I would also ask myself why I was so upset by some small mistakes by other people. Is it because I wanted to scold not those people but myself? I have made many, many mistakes in my life. Many big mistakes that affected not only myself, but my family as well. At times, I was in a denial state that I did not want to face them head on. I would rather sweep them under the carpet hoping the problems will diminish on their own. I was definitely wrong.
To accept others is to accept youself. I am now regularly reminding myself, and also be reminded upon by my wife, to see the broader white background instead of the small, tiny black dots. I am now striving to do this balancing act in my daily life and get my life back on the right path again.
智洪合十
[You are on the right track. If you find that you are hardly to rejoice in others' merits and virtues, repentance will help. Please share your story with us when you are able to appreciate white backgrounds and sing praises to other’s good deed.]
